


I Bet People Call You Madame Kovarian

by linksofmemories



Series: The Rory to My Amy [4]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-29
Updated: 2012-09-29
Packaged: 2017-11-15 07:09:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/524545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linksofmemories/pseuds/linksofmemories
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You actually called her Madame Kovarian?”</p><p>“I might have.”</p><p>Derek smirked, leaning forward to press his lips against Stiles’ and mumble against them. “And just when I thought that I couldn’t love you more.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Bet People Call You Madame Kovarian

**Author's Note:**

> The first part of this one-shot takes place during chapter 2 of Permanent Fixture. It's when Kate and Stiles are talking in the grocery store and Derek shows up. There's a self-explanatory time skip after that.

Stiles was contemplating between spearmint and peppermint toothpaste (spearmint was cheaper, but peppermint was his dad’s favorite) when someone tapped him on his shoulder.

This wasn’t exactly an uncommon occurrence in Beacon Hills. He was the Sheriff’s son and everyone knew him. Mrs. Parkinson was always giving him coupons even though he didn’t need them and then pinching his ass as she walked away. Someone needed to put that woman in a nursing home already.

Anyway, it wasn’t strange for someone to be approaching him in the middle of the grocery store. They’d probably ask how his dad was doing and if they wanted any leftover casserole. His mom had passed away four years ago and people _still_ seemed to be tiptoeing around him like he was going to start crying a fountain of tears in the grocery store.

Okay, that actually happened once, but that had been a month after she died and he had smelled her perfume and… it hadn’t exactly been the best thing in the world.

But there was a person tapping his shoulder though, so Stiles put on his best smile and turned around to see…

_Bitch._

Stiles didn’t want to be the type of person who used the word “hate” often. Sure, he said that he hated Jackson and Mr. Harris, but he didn’t actually _hate_ them. Kate Argent, on the other hand, was completely worthy of his hate.

“I knew you looked familiar,” she said, smiling at him. And, _fuck_ , that was one disturbing smile. “You chopped off all of your hair, but you still have those moles all over the place and those big, Bambi eyes. Even though I’ve never seen them this big, since you’ve only ever glared at me.”

He had thought that people like her would forget people like him. He had been a kid with a crush who hated having someone else around. If anything, he was entirely forgettable to her.

Apparently not though.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

“Shopping,” she shrugged. “I’m assuming that you’re doing the same thing?”

There was no way he was going to answer her. If he just ignored the problem, then it would go away eventually.

“So, how’s Derek doing?” she asked. “I plan on paying him a visit soon.”

“No.”

Shit. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

“Excuse me?”

“Uh, no, that’s not a good idea,” Stiles said.

“And why not?”

The reasonable person would walk away. They would ignore this bitch and just walk away, but _Derek_ was at stake here and… he loved Derek. He loved him and he wasn’t going to let this psycho try to screw him over again.

“You’re not going to see him,” Stiles said, turning to face her completely. “You’re going to stay away from him, because you fucking _ruined_ him. He gave you his heart and you couldn’t even see how lucky you were. You just- you just fucking stomped on it. You left him all alone after you… you abandoned him! Why the hell would you even think that he would want to see you? He doesn’t-.”

“Oh, I see,” she said, smiling at him. “That little crush you had hasn’t gone away. You _love_ Derek. That’s so sweet. But you do realize that he’s never going to love you back, don’t you? Have you looked in the mirror lately, kid? Why would he care about you after having-.”

“I don’t care.”

“What?”

“I don’t fucking give a shit, _Madame Kovarian_ ,” Stiles said. “I just want him to be happy and you’re not going to make him happy, so just stay away from him or…”

Derek was walking down the aisle toward them. His face was filled with concern and he was almost to them when Kate turned around. And that concern turned instantly into… shock? Hatred? Confusion? Stiles didn’t even know what that look was.

“Oh wow,” Kate said. “This one grew up in all the right places.”

“What are you doing here?” Derek practically grinded out.

“I’m just here to visit my brother and niece,” she said, smiling at Derek. Apparently Stiles was invisible all over again. “I might even get to meet my brother’s new whore.”

Yeah, that was definitely hatred. No one talked about Laura like that and if Derek didn’t punch her, Stiles would. This bitch was going d- Or Laura would just punch her anyway. Where had she even come from?

“Oh, I am so sorry,” Laura said, standing in front of Kate who was now crouching slightly on the ground. “My hand slipped. Let me help you up.”

Laura then grabbed Kate’s hand and yanked her to her feet, moving her mouth to her ear. “Listen, bitch, if you even come within a five foot radius of Derek _or_ Stiles or anyone else that I care about, I will cut you. With a knife. Like a bread knife, not a butter knife.”

Stiles could tell that the threat was supposed to be some kind of hushed whisper, but judging by the looks of terror on the people surrounding them, it definitely wasn’t.

“Laura, that threatening whisper isn’t really working because you’re not whispering,” he said.

Derek and Laura looked around at the people surrounding them. Derek flinched a bit, but Laura just backed away from Kate and smiled at everyone. “Nothing to see here, people!”

Some people backed off, but most stayed, probably wanting to see if a catfight came out of this. Kate had composed herself again and was now smiling at Laura. She was towering over Laura slightly, but if Laura’s smirk of defiance was anything to go by, she didn’t really care.

“Thank you so much for your concern, Laura,” Kate said. “But you know I think I won’t stay away. Because you care about my brother and my niece, so that five foot radius is just going to have to be broken.”

“Well those can be the exceptions,” Laura said. “But you should stay away from Derek.”

Kate looked at Derek and then at Stiles before smiling at Laura. Fuck, she was creepy. What had Derek even seen in her?

“I’m going to be in town for a while, so I might not be able to help myself,” Kate said. “ _This_ encounter isn’t one that I planned.”

“How long’s a while?” Laura asked.

“A few months, maybe even a year or two,” Kate shrugged. “I don’t think I can keep myself away for too long.”

A couple of years? Screw that. If she stayed that long Stiles could just complain about her to his dad and maybe she would get kicked out of town. He could frame her for a crime or something. Maybe arson, she kind of looked like a crazed arsonist. But then Stiles would have to actually burn something to put her name on the crime and all of the evidence would-

-Would have to wait, because Derek had grabbed him and was dragging him out of the aisle and out of the store. Dammit, he still had to buy toothpaste

“I still have to buy toothpaste,” he said, walking back toward the store.

“Then go somewhere else,” Derek said, placing a hand on his chest and pushing him back.

He wasn’t going to fight Derek, but glaring seemed like a good idea. Or looking at the hand that was still pressed against his chest. Oh no. Derek was touching him and if he felt his heartbeat then he would know that it was pounding and- Derek was shaking.

Stiles placed one of his hands on Derek’s and squeezed it. Kate really got under his skin, didn’t she?

“Derek,” Stiles said, moving closer to him. “Hey, are you all right?”

He was looking at him weirdly again. It was just like at the beach house or at New Year’s Eve. Stiles had known Derek for years and he still wasn’t close to figuring him out. How did Derek feel about him? Was he just Scott’s best friend or was he a friend to Derek or was he… Hell, he didn’t know what else he _could_ be. He just knew what he wanted to be.

“I’m fine,” Derek said. “It’s just… What was she saying to you? Before I showed up what was she talking to you about? You sounded irritated.”

_Oh, just saying how it was pathetic that I’m still in love with you and that I don’t stand a chance._

“Nothing,” Stiles said instead. “It’s not important. I just want to make sure you’re okay. You are okay, aren’t you?”

“Stiles, please answer my question.”

Derek broke out a “please”. It was no time for beating around the bush today.

“I approached her and I kind of tried to defend your honor and she kind of called me your guard dog,” Stiles lied, feeling his face heat up.

_She approached me. I tried to seem like I was just defending your honor. Apparently I’m not attractive enough for you which, hello? Kind of already knew that._

“She’s a bitch,” Derek said.

“I know.”

“You shouldn’t have talked to her.”

“I know.”

“No, Stiles I don’t think you do know,” Derek said. _No, actually he did know, Derek._ “She’s psychotic. She’s manipulative and awful and I was such an idiot for thinking that I loved her. I was such an idiot and-.”

“Derek,” Stiles warned, squeezing Derek’s hand tighter. If there was anything Stiles hated more than someone putting Derek down, it was Derek putting himself down. “You were 17 and she was a hot older woman who wanted you. I don’t think anyone’s blaming you. Yeah you were an idiot, but things could have been a lot worse. You’re only human.”

And there was that look again. Stiles really wanted to know what the look meant, but Laura was exiting the store with a security guard clutching her arm. He gave her a few stern warnings before she went to stand with them.

“I defended your honor, but I’m not allowed in the store for the next six months,” she said to Derek.

“You’re my hero, Laura,” Derek said, grinning at her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

Thank God for Laura. If there was one person in the world who could make Derek act like Derek again, it was her.

And Stiles tried really hard not to be jealous of her for it.

“I better be,” she said. “I almost had a catfight with that bitch in there. I thought I saw some kid flashing pictures with his camera.”

“You could have been an Internet sensation,” he pointed out as they started to walk toward the parking lot.

Laura laughed, but Stiles just tuned it out. Derek was still holding his hand. Their hands were clasped together as they walked. What did they look like to other people? Did they look like a couple? They _had_ to- Derek took his hand from his. Stiles looked at him, but Derek was looking at Laura.

“You actually called her Madame Kovarian?”

“I might have.”

Derek smirked, leaning forward to press his lips against Stiles’ and mumble against them. “And just when I thought that I couldn’t love you more.”

No one ever believed Stiles when he said that Derek was a complete romantic sap. They always assumed that he was, but never Derek. It was probably the muscles and the stubble. It had to be.

“It just kind of came to me,” Stiles shrugged, humming as Derek’s lips found his neck. Neck kisses, those were always good. “Besides it happened like five years ago, it doesn’t really matter.”

Five years ago and he had been finishing up his junior year of high school. He had graduated from Stanford yesterday. Time was such a weird thing.

They were packing up everything in their apartment (aka packing a few things and then talking and then making out for ten minutes). Stiles was sad to leave Palo Alto, but more excited to finally go back home and sleep in their bed at their home and Stiles really just liked that everything was “theirs”. For Valentine’s Day Derek had made him sign some papers that said that the house was his as well.

He was going to start student teaching that year and then next year, if everything went according to plan, he would start teaching for real. Everything was really working out for him.

“But honestly,” Derek said, bringing Stiles back to the present. “Did she really say to look in a mirror?”

“Yeah,” Stiles said, rolling his eyes. “Which is stupid, because I know that I’m not a supermodel like you. I don’t think I’m ugly, but I’m not exactly attractive either.”

Derek looked like he was about to pounce him. And not in the sexy way either.

“You’re joking, right?” Derek asked.

“Uh, no.”

“Stiles, do you honestly think that you’re unattractive?”

“Well, yeah,” he shrugged. “Which is fine, I mean-.”

“You’re fucking _gorgeous_ ,” Derek said, pushing Stiles backward so that his back hit the floor.

“Yeah, and you’re fucking deluded.”

“Do you have any idea how much I want you?” Derek asked. “How much I _always_ want you?”

“It probably has to do with my sparkling personality,” Stiles shrugged.

Derek’s lips quirked up in a half-smile and Stiles really wanted to kiss him. So, he did, because he was allowed to do that.

“Partially,” Derek said, pressing his weight against Stiles and kissing his jaw. “Also because I’m always thinking about how you look. How you have these moles and freckles everywhere and I just want to commit them all to memory.”

“Judging by the amount of time you spend touching them, you probably do.”

“Your eyes,” Derek continued. “And how it makes me so pissed that you say that they’re just brown-.”

“They _are_ just brown.”

“- When really they’re this amazing amber color.”

“I’m going to start calling you ‘cornbread’, maybe ‘corn on the cob’. It’s your choice.”

“And your stupid lips,” Derek said, pressing their foreheads together. “Those stupid pouty lips that I just want to _devour_ every time I see them.”

“You kinda do, cornbread.”

“The expressions you make are enough to drive me insane.”

“I’ve been told that I have an expressive face.”

“How your mouth just falls open into this smile when you’re happy,” Derek listed off. “How your eyes get so downcast when you’re sad. How your face just hardens when you’re angry. How you always keep your eyes on me after I finish fucking you.”

“Well, that escalated qui- _Jesus Christ, Derek_.”

Stiles honestly hadn’t felt the hand that had made its way inside of his sweatpants. He also didn’t know when he had started getting hard.

“Are you trying to kill me?” Stiles breathed as Derek tightened a hand around him.

“I think you’re the one who’s trying to do that to me, Stiles.”

He would have argued. No really, he would have. But Derek’s hand was so warm and firm and was spreading this ridiculous warmth throughout him with every stroke.

“Sometimes I feel like such a fucking idiot,” Derek said. “I never should have been with Kate or anyone else. I should have just waited for you.”

“What?” Stiles asked, trying to break through the pleasurable haze he was currently in.

“Nothing,” Derek said. “I’ll tell you later. Right now I just want you to come for me.”

This would be another great time for him to argue. He really would, but- oh, fuck it, he was arguing.

“Nope, make me come later,” Stiles said, grabbing Derek’s wrist and pulling his hand out of his pants. “I get regretting Kate, but why other people?”

Derek sighed, obviously not happy that his Handjob Distraction Plan hadn’t worked. “It would have been nice if our first time had been with each other.”

“Uh, no it wouldn’t have,” Stiles said. “Derek, I’m happy that you had been with other guys. I just lied there our first time. You knew what you were doing and that’s what made it so awesome for me. I think the only thing I’ve contributed to our sex lives is saying that we should have a safe word.”

The safe word was “Pandorica”. They had yet to use it.

“I didn’t know what I was doing when I was rimming you.”

And now Derek was making jokes. He was like the god of rimming. Of course he knew- Well, that was a serious face.

“You’re joking,” Stiles said. “Except you’re not joking. That was your first time giving someone a rimjob?”

“I couldn’t exactly see the appeal of sticking my tongue up someone’s ass.”

“But you could for me?”

“Yeah,” Derek said. “I had heard that it was supposed to be great, so I did it for you.”

“So, you’re basically saying that I have a special butt?”

Derek rolled his eyes and then kissed the corner of Stiles’ mouth. “Something like that.”

“No, but this is good,” Stiles said. “I mean, I’m the first person you’ve done that to. You also said that I’m the first person who’s fucked you. And I’m the first person who you’ve ‘made love’ with.”

“What’s with the air quotes?”

“‘Made love’ is such a cheesy term,” Stiles said.

There was a scoff from Derek. He actually _scoffed._

“What else would you call it?” he asked.

“Fucking with feeling?”

And thankfully Derek kissed him, his hand traveling back under Stiles’ pants.

Packing could wait.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
